I Do Not Like Green Hair and Jam!

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"And I, I only, am left." (1 Kings 19:14).

Yesterday I introduced you to Dr. Suits (not his real name), a perturbed pastor struggling with an unconventional approach to worship; feeling somewhat like Elijah in the cave -- "All others have forsaken You, Lord, and I, I only, am left." I wrote the following poem to commemorate the stellar devotion of the ever-faithful Dr. Suits.

I went to church one day to pray.
My life to set in fine array.
And so I wore my Sunday best;
A pin stripe suit with matching vest.
My hair was neatly combed in place.
And there I stood in humble grace
A smile so bright upon my face –
“Our Father who art in Heaven…”

But just as I had said these words
An awful clatter then was heard
I looked about – it was absurd!
A rock band, with their hair like birds,
From the vestry then did lurch
And now were singing in the church!
And everybody seemed OK
To have it blasted in this way,
But, I remember fonder times
Of golden bells and wind swept chimes;
“Our Father who art in Heaven?”

When worshipping the great I Am
I do not like green hair and jam.
I want my music soft and sweet while
sitting quietly in my seat.
With flowing robes of regal flair
and angels flying in the air
and glorious banners everywhere --
but, please, no jam and bright green hair!

I want my church to be a treat
while sitting quietly in my seat.
Don’t ask me to tap my feet
I told you once, and I repeat,
I do not think green hair is neat!
Tidy worship for the King --
a proper tribute we should bring.
O not that ear, and not that ring,
and not that hair, and not that thing!

O for a thousand tongues to sing
But please not jam and hair bright green!
Does anyone know what I mean?
Am I alone the one who’s clean?
Do others recoil before the scene
of bongos, bells, and bushy green?
When worshipping the great I Am.
I do not like green hair and jam.
But, no one knows how right I am.

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